Bloggery

Old Rope!

With the bloke from The Streets just phoning in his last album. Here are some lyrics from his next:

I was sitting watching telly
And thought “I fancy a nice cup of tea”
So I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on
Then I decided to have some biscuits
And got out the tin.
There were some nice ones in there
So I took them and my tea back into the living room
Where I unpaused the DVD of Terminator 3.

Sitting eating biscuits.
Is a thing I like to do
Also sometimes I eat bakewell tarts
But they make me unable to poo.

Then I thought I’d do some dusting
Cor Blimey Guv’ner
So I retrieved my duster and Mr Sheen
From underneath the kitchen sink
Where I keep all my cleaning things
And set to work dusting and polishing.

Sitting eating biscuits.
Is a thing I like to do
Also sometimes I eat bakewell tarts
But they make me unable to poo.

Then I texted my mate Barry
To tell him about the Lambeth Walk festival
That was happening at the town hall.
But he said he was working that day
And couldn’t make it. Woi!

Sitting eating biscuits.
Is a thing I like to do
Also sometimes I eat bakewell tarts
But they make me unable to poo.

Finally I settled on a bottle of brown ale
Which I keep in a sideboard next to my chair.
It was very nice
But it made me fall asleep
And I missed Deal or No Deal
And Noel Edmunds pretty beard.

Sitting eating biscuits.
Is a thing I like to do
Also sometimes I eat bakewell tarts
But they make me unable to poo.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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