Today I accidentally watched some Big Brother having managed to avoid most of the last seven series. I switched on to see a particularly vociferous kind of pond life walking around the house saying things like “I’m not used to not having my freedom and being locked up, I want to go clubbing” (sic) Then a bloke with tourettes whistled and swore in the face of a woman with pneumatic breasts.

And they say television isn’t high brow anymore.

I’m going to my happy place now:

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