Wires

Well it’s been a hectic day and mostly bemusing.

This morning I received a phone call from somebody I don’t know and who doesn’t know me. He said that he needed to talk to me about my brother. This shocked me to the core as I don’t have a brother. It became even more intriguing when he said that my Grandfather had been trying to get hold of me for a party but I wasn’t answering my phone.

At this news I had to sit down. It was quite a lot to digest all at once. Not only did I have a brother but one of my Grandfathers had risen from the dead and was organising a party.

Thinking about it now, what else would you do if you’d just risen from the dead? Frankly you’re going to shag and drink yourself silly; even if you were very sensible in your previous life the relief of not being dead would make you want to embrace life with both hands and all of your genitals.

Shaking but composed I lifted the telephone to my ear and addressed the man on the other end of the wire.

“Who are you?” I said with no small degree of trepidation in my voice. “I’m your Uncle Les you silly bugger”, he said with his mouth.

“I don’t have an Uncle Les”, said I with my own mouth.

“Oh shit! Sorry wrong number”

The line went dead, as did my Grandfather and the possibility of my having a Brother.

Anyway later today I saw this strange combination of bill-boards. It seems that critics of Channel Four’s output are going to great lengths to make their point.

 

About Martin Wolfenden 278 Articles
Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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