Wall of Pirates

It has come to pass that Phil Spector has been found guilty of doing in a lady.

I must confess that I wasn’t that surprised by the verdict. After all if you live in a house where all the walls are made of sound, eventually you’re going to snap and go barking mad with a gun. It’s just a given.

Last year I took a tour of his home and catalogued the different wall sounds. Here is a small selection:

Kitchen: Bird Song and Strimming

Bathroom: Jelly being sucked through a straw.

Bedroom: Loud drilling.

Of course this has come as a terrible blow to people with crazy hair, who looked up to Spector as a kind of god. Until recently you could actually purchase golden idols of his head to adorn your home shrine. However last night the remaining stock was stolen from a warehouse which offered little resistance to thieves due to the walls being made of whispers.

So Pirates are at it again in Somalia. This time they shot some bombs at a ship but didn’t manage to get on board. Experts think that this attack may be in retaliation for the killing of some other pirates a few months ago.


These pirates really haven’t got the hang of being hardened criminals. In the old days if a pirate was killed, they were written off by their fellows who pocketed a larger portion of plunder. These modern pirates are like giggling school girls in comparison. Honestly!

Right time for a bath before I dig into some nice pie.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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