Mad About The Chap


When I was a child, I was a Catholic,  I went to church as a Catholic, thought as a Catholic and prayed as a catholic. But when I grew up I put away Catholic things and plumped instead for atheism and homosexuality.

Since then I’ve lived my life by a certain code. That code states that I will always be polite and attempt to never deliberately hurt another person. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a minority – especially when I hold the door open for somebody and they barge past and don’t even say thank you.  My favourite smoking method is the pipe and I enjoy a lovely gin and tonic or a pint of real ale. You will never see me in a tracksuit or garish sportswear but I will do that annoying thing of combining old and new school casual clothing. Quite often you will see me in a shirt, cravat and sports jacket but with jeans and converse trainers afflicting my lower half. This marks me out as being a none-chap. However on occasion I can be the very epitome of chappishness. At these times I am usually wearing a rather nice suite and bushy whiskers and puffing away on my pipe.

For this reason alone, I buy The Chap magazine.

For those of you unfamiliar with this publication let me describe it. The Chap is a glittering jewel in the pigsty of the magazine and periodical market. It isn’t filled to the brim with advertisements. Nor does it have photographs of severed limbs or minor celebrities bending over. Instead it concentrates on the finer things in life, like a nice suit or well tied cravat. It also has superbly written pieces about historical chaps who did extraordinary deeds and lovely interviews with modern chaps such as Stephen Fry.

My favourite sections are ‘Am I a chap?’ and anything written by Michael ‘Atters’ Attree who I admire greatly.

Why not pop out and buy a copy today? In fact buy one for a friend too then buy another to lay down for your grandchildren. You don’t even need to be the full chap to read it. Chapism is as much a state of mind as anything.  So if you – like me – have no religion, then invite Chapism into your life. You’ll never regret it.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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