When I asked you to vote for me to keep or lose the beard I fully expected a unanimous call to shave it off. In fact I was counting on it.
So what do you lot do? You vote for me to keep it!
Well thanks a lot, I will never have sex again! Nobody wants to kiss a man with a beard, nobody. In fact people will cut their own lips off rather than lay them upon my hairy gob. Eventually I will resort to being bummed by redneck American’s, who will ask me to squeal, while deformed children play the banjo.
So here is my look for the foreseeable future, I hope you approve:
Some people gave reasons why I should keep the beard and I include them here for your edification:
Keep the beard, you are a frightening man so you may as well wear the uniform.
I say keep it. You look ever so slightly like a manly lesbian without it or Tim Key.
I can’t decide which.
You’re hideous without the beard. Keep the damned thing on!!
Keep it, or I’ll punch your chin off.
Before I go, let me make a confession: I didn’t actually mind being called a beardy one, in Andrew Collins’ blog. In fact I was utterly delighted to have even got a mention. It was just an excuse to run a random beard poll. So I would like to thank Andrew for being so nice about it. You are a a true gentleman sir.
Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.)
Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.