Bunny and Kennedy

Easter is coming

The goat is getting fat

Let’s throw some faeces at man.

Now there’s one thing which puzzles me at this time of year. It didn’t puzzle me as a child but it does now. When did we adopt the American Easter Bunny? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who spends their entire day complaining about the American influence on British culture. Well I am; but not in a frothing Daily Mail sort of way. Weeell…

Mr Bunny wasn’t really part of my childhood; however he did exist but only as a shadowy figure in television shows such as Charlie Brown and Panorama – actually I may have got that one wrong – and even then he wasn’t particularly pervasive.

Now of course he is jumping out of every dark alley at you with his basket brimming with high cholesterol chicken products. I’m not going to say ‘dairy product’ as they are not made from milk and thus do not come from a dairy. If you have any doubt in your mind about this, then head over to the website of like minded dairy egg denier Emma Kennedy. Try telling her that eggs are a dairy product! Then buy her new book. It’s called ‘The Tent, The Bucket and Me’ and it’s bloody brilliant.

Where was I?

Ah yes I was laying into the Easter bunny with all the vehemence of a stuffed Alsatian.

In my day Easter was primarily about boredom and some chocolate. That’s it really. There was an occasional camping holiday which invariably ended in disaster. One year we went away at Easter and woke one morning to find snow drifts at either side of our tent. Actually if you’re interested in stories about family holidays then why not buy The Tent, The Bucket and Me by Emma Kennedy.

Yes Easter was boring. There was nothing on television but the dreaded Disney Time: a half hour in which the Disney Corporation purchased the BBC. The show was little more than a series of trailers for Disney’s back catalogue and it was the most unfulfilled piece of television ever devised. In fact it was even more unfulfilled than a National Lottery show which I suppose is a modernequivalent of Disney Time. They buy up BBC air time to bring us low quality shows too.

Then I can’t really blame kids for wanting something better and I suppose a giant rabbit which brings you chocolate is an improvement on Children’s Film Foundation films on a wet bank holiday.

Anyway a happy Easter.  I’m off to make a giant Rabbit pie…what?

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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