Some people join Twitter to sell stuff and other people join to follow their favourite celebrities. I joined to write silly tweet, chat to nice people and sometimes plug a podcasts…but it’s mostly just the silly tweet and nice people thing. However over the last year or so it is becoming increasingly difficult to get any response from people on Twitter. You tweet a funny joke and are met with a wall of silence and a photo of Limmy pulling a face in bed.

Those of you who dabble in comedy or actually make your living out of it, know the unbridled horror of talking to a room full of people who stare at you like you’re informing them of the bumming to death of their cat. That’s what Twitter is like in 2014.

OK, Facebook is quite good. People at least hit the like button when they enjoy a gag. They don’t just stare silently at it, like the folk on Twitter do. It goes without saying that there are cool and lovely people on Twitter who do ‘retweet’ and enjoy what people are putting up there but there are a number of other people who I imagine wearing a hair leotard while steadfastly refusing to laugh.

So what’s to be done?

Perhaps it is time to create a new social network, just for comedy. Where comedians can obtain a steady stream of validation and fans can endure a cascade of jokes about shitting and knobs. All uninterrupted by tedious tweets about politics, gender politics and disease. It sounds like a Utopia doesn’t it? DOESN’T IT!?

Let us then adopt another social network and bend it to our purpose. Google + is pretty quiet and I have an account. Join me over there. I’ll be the one with the carnation in my buttock hole. However I probably continue to shout into the abyss of Twitter until I am nothing but a gay husk.

While I’m here I’d like to thank all you lovely people who have downloaded the Brainjam podcast. We sometimes forget to say thank you to our strongest supporters, so stand in front of a mirror and give your reflection a big snog from me. Not too hard! If you break the glass, you will see me wanking in your spare room.

Here is a joyously enthusiastic video from my favourite Stargate: Atlantis actor, David Hewlett. Subscribe to his channel as it is impossible not to smile as he enthuses about geeky things.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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