At 6:45am this morning I awoke to the sound of chamber music floating from the grills of the digital radiogram next to my bed and the sinking dread that I would have to leave it soon and get ready for work. My morning routine has been like this for years so I know that next on the itinerary is to switch on my iPhone and check Twitter and Facebook. Within seconds of the feeds refreshing I am subject to blogs, articles and videos telling me not to be a sexist, homophobic racist. It’s like an angry headmaster shouting “WOLFENDEN! AT THIS SCHOOL WE DO NOT GRAB WOMEN BY THE BREASTS, WHILE VOTING BNP AND KICKING A GAY BLOKE TO DEATH.”

The problem is that these post are already preaching to the converted. If somebody is your friend on Facebook they probably share many of your views about a fair society and if they don’t, just block them. The one thing I’ve learned over the years is that you can’t reason with these people. They are idiots and they will remain idiots until the day that they die while attempting to cut their toenails with the national grid in a bath full of petrol.

Before you ask, I’m not joining in with the NOT ALL MEN nonsense. Frankly I’m too old to get involve with such tit for tat juvenile rubbish. It is perfectly obvious that not all men are arsholes and neither are all women. For every Justin Beiber there’s a Miley Cyrus and every Margaret Thatcher has a Ronald Reagan. So to suggest that either sex has a claim to the title of ‘most virtuous’ is palpably ridiculous.

If you want to make a difference in the world then promote the work of one of a thousand organisations doing their best to help animals and people at home and abroad. The world doesn’t need more Twitter and Facebook outrage, but it does need you promote the work of these organisations so that they can continue to help the neglected and dispossessed of this planet.

Here is a link to my favourite charity, Tia Greyhound and Lurcher Rescue. They do a fantastic job keeping pointy nosed dogs safe from extermination, while they wait for somebody to give them a loving home. Here is a picture of Dill (The Podcast Hound) who came from Tia seven years ago and is adored by us all.


However Dapper Laughs is a disease.

Now I’ve got that off my chest I’d like to plug the brand spanking new Wilson & Wolfenden podcast. The first episode will be up on iTunes and

Have a lovely day.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

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