Yesterday I pressed the wrong button on the internet radio and found myself listening to Radio 1. A trailer for a show was playing and I didn’t understand a word of it; at that moment came the realisation that I too could make a living writing gibberish.

Here’s my attempt:

Radio one invites you to the party of the century. With the bangy-thump beats of Rotten Rabbit’s DJ Flange and the discursive meanderings of a phat faced child, plus DJ Ganglion making it large for the juicy pep poet of bang Mr Sedburgh Fruityfap. It promises to be a hot pounding thresher of a hump dance fissure with star guests The Mips and Relative Hammers it’s the place to be this winter. Keeping it big on Radio 1.


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