Back in Sack

Yo yo yo!

The terrible blog is back and I must apologise for this before I even begin. In fact, I am not too sure why I even write a blog as nothing ever happens to me and if it does, I tend to talk about it on the podcasts. So really, there is no point in my writing this at all. I may as well just spend my evening wanking and laughing; although I was thrown out of the swimming pool the last time I did that.  Hahahahaha! You see! I am a comedy genius.

Then again, should I have split that last paragraph into two or left it as a rambly mess with all those wiggly lines underneath; I just do not know. If I was a proper writer, I would knowledge these things with my brain but I don’t. Can I end a sentence with a contraction?

So what have I been doing since last I word raped you?

Here is a list of things I have done:

  • Bought an iPhone
  • Went vegetarian for a bit.
  • Caught a cold.
  • Wanked.
  • Helped some ducks.
  • Lost £20.
  • Lost 4 Lbs.
  • Saved the lives of several insects.
  • Accidentally killed a bee.
  • Wanked
  • Had a birthday.
  • Recorded some podcasts.
  • Wrote a script.
  • Became nostalgic for the 80s.
  • Became nostalgic for the 90s.
  • Wanked
  • Got drunk at home.
  • Got drunk in Manchester.
  • Got drunk in Leeds
  • Got drunk in Halifax
  • Got drunk in Bradford.
  • Got drunk in some other places that I can’t remember.
  • Shouted in a Chinese Karaoke bar.
  • Lost a shoe.
  • Wanked

Good bye.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

2 thoughts on “Back in Sack

  • Ross Eldridge

    Hallo there, Martin!

    Good to have you back on the page, wiggly lines and all. You clearly were quite busy. One wonders what one would do if one lost a shoe, and I suppose one could send the remaining shoe to a Heather Mills charity. There could be a half-hour script in that.

    I have downloaded GR-57, about trousers and ducks, but haven’t listened to it yet. Looking forward to your story about the ducks. When I listen to the Review my dog insists on climbing onto my lap and resting his head on the desk. Seriously. He likes the jollity.

    Have fun!


  • I’m intrigued by the vegetarianism. Why, and why did you succumb to the siren song of meaty delights once more?


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