Back in Sack

Yo yo yo!

The terrible blog is back and I must apologise for this before I even begin. In fact, I am not too sure why I even write a blog as nothing ever happens to me and if it does, I tend to talk about it on the podcasts. So really, there is no point in my writing this at all. I may as well just spend my evening wanking and laughing; although I was thrown out of the swimming pool the last time I did that.  Hahahahaha! You see! I am a comedy genius.

Then again, should I have split that last paragraph into two or left it as a rambly mess with all those wiggly lines underneath; I just do not know. If I was a proper writer, I would knowledge these things with my brain but I don’t. Can I end a sentence with a contraction?

So what have I been doing since last I word raped you?

Here is a list of things I have done:

  • Bought an iPhone
  • Went vegetarian for a bit.
  • Caught a cold.
  • Wanked.
  • Helped some ducks.
  • Lost £20.
  • Lost 4 Lbs.
  • Saved the lives of several insects.
  • Accidentally killed a bee.
  • Wanked
  • Had a birthday.
  • Recorded some podcasts.
  • Wrote a script.
  • Became nostalgic for the 80s.
  • Became nostalgic for the 90s.
  • Wanked
  • Got drunk at home.
  • Got drunk in Manchester.
  • Got drunk in Leeds
  • Got drunk in Halifax
  • Got drunk in Bradford.
  • Got drunk in some other places that I can’t remember.
  • Shouted in a Chinese Karaoke bar.
  • Lost a shoe.
  • Wanked

Good bye.

Martin Wolfenden

Back in the early days of this Century, I made some money by saying the odd funny thing in public. On one of these occasions a fellow funny talker told me that I should write a blog (because that was the sort of thing funny talking people did back then.) Now, I’m not the sort of person who does things the easy way, so I rejected all the ready made blogging platforms and started my own website. Since then it’s become a repository for whatever stuff is bubbling out of my brains and a directory of various podcasts and videos that I’ve made with my friends and is completely unnecessary.

2 thoughts on “Back in Sack

  • July 1, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Hallo there, Martin!

    Good to have you back on the page, wiggly lines and all. You clearly were quite busy. One wonders what one would do if one lost a shoe, and I suppose one could send the remaining shoe to a Heather Mills charity. There could be a half-hour script in that.

    I have downloaded GR-57, about trousers and ducks, but haven’t listened to it yet. Looking forward to your story about the ducks. When I listen to the Review my dog insists on climbing onto my lap and resting his head on the desk. Seriously. He likes the jollity.

    Have fun!


  • July 4, 2010 at 10:26 am

    I’m intrigued by the vegetarianism. Why, and why did you succumb to the siren song of meaty delights once more?


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